Sunday, November 05, 2006

Beware, Beware, Beware the Overweight Wife

Yes, these last few weeks have been a trying time for we Christians -- our Party, the Party of God, is in danger of losing control of the government, leaving our glorious nation to be overrun by sin, and now this latest tragedy affecting the evangelical community has struck, as one of the community's leaders has been exposed as a filthy homosexual. As to the first issue, I only pray that the allegations of corruption are not true and that the light of God will shine upon the voters in the voting booth. I have my doubts as to what we've heard in the media, as it is controlled by the Devil.

Now, for the second issue, I recently read this, which shines some light on what may be the root of the problem:

"Most pastors I know do not have satisfying, free, sexual conversations and liberties with their wives. At the risk of being even more widely despised than I currently am, I will lean over the plate and take one for the team on this. It is not uncommon to meet pastors’ wives who really let themselves go; they sometimes feel that because their husband is a pastor, he is therefore trapped into fidelity, which gives them cause for laziness. A wife who lets herself go and is not sexually available to her husband in the ways that the Song of Songs is so frank about is not responsible for her husband’s sin, but she may not be helping him either."

The pastor that iresponsiblele for the above is quite correct, I think, in at least identifying a source of temptation for, not only pastors, but men in general: a wife'slothfulnessss. It's not just, as the pastor identifies, the wives of church elders that suffer from letting themselves go, sure that their husbands, obviously good Christians, will never stray. Most women with husbands suffer from this delusion. And I say delusion, for that is exactly what it is, as nearly all men -- except for the most truly pious -- can be tempted by the whispers of Satan when their wives become fat and disgusting. That is the weakness of men, which is why we can only and must strive to live in a righteous manner akin to our Lord Jesus Christ.

Yes, man, no matter how righteous, is still ridden with the faults of men; and, knowing this, it is the wife's duty to make herself attractive to her husband so that Satan cannot send his armies of whores and homos to tempt him. It is really a simply charge, although those women that refuse it are, like men, simply succumbing to their innermost faults, in this case laziness rather than sexual desire. That is why it is equally the duty of men to insure that their wives stay attractive and fit so they are attractive -- not repulsive -- when the time comes to make babies. Diets, training, and -- sometimes -coercionon for when the wife becomes especially insolent and stubborn -- all are useful tools in the fight against a woman's sloth. Men that neglect these aspects of marriage are certainly beckoning for the evil Satan to place roadblocks on the path to righteousness.

8 Comments:

Blogger Ryven said...

It seems to me that if you truly loved your wife, that you would love her, no matter her shape. If your love is based on her figure, than can it really be called "love" at all? Some people call that lust.

2:41 AM  
Anonymous Three Headed Grinch said...

Obviously you will object, but some men and women are literally genetically programmed to become fat. It's nature's way of experimenting so that if another ice age comes along, all the fat people will stay warm and all 'healthy' people will end up being peoplecicles.

There are people who honestly cannot help becoming fat. Although laziness can be a factor, there are some people that just seem to absorb EVERYTHING. Like this girl I heard of who ate a sirloin (or however that's spelt) steak and gained 5 pounds instantly. Let me see if I can get Cobra Commanduh to get the full story. He knows of the girl I'm talking aobut.

7:22 PM  
Blogger Marionette said...

You're absolutely right. It is the job of both the men and women to keep their relationship as beautiful as the day is was born, both physically and mentally. Most women believe that finally getting a husband is a job accomplished, when truly it only means more work, children or not. When you want something, you want it the way it is. You don't want it to warp or morph afterwards and still have to love it the same way. A person's sloth can not only be physical, but mental too. She can turn uncaring about things and people around her, making her husband (and children) feel neglected and unloved.

7:13 PM  
Blogger Ryven said...

You don't want it to warp or morph afterwards and still have to love it the same way.

I'm sorry, but I have to disagree. You make it sound as if loving your wife after gaining weight is a chore. If you find yourself struggling to love your wife or husband because they've changed physically, than I'm sorry, but your love really should be questioned. They're not there to look pretty for you. They're there because they love you.

8:18 AM  
Blogger Led Head said...

Well said, Ryven.

People change as they grow older. It's a given. And chances are, both women and men are going to weigh a little more at 35 than they did at 19. Love should be about the spiritual relationship between two people, not a number on a scale.

And just out of curiosity, Nathaniel, do you weight the same as you did when you and your wife got married?

12:35 AM  
Anonymous Three Headed Grinch said...

Ryven, are you sure you don't want to go into politics? You don't seem to be too pressured by peer pressure and make very intelligent remarks.
P.S. Sorry about the ass kissing, I don't think it's right to ignore intelligence when I see it, as it's SADLY lacking on most of the internet and especially in my physical location of New Mexico.

11:34 PM  
Blogger Ryven said...

I'd make a better advisor than an actual politician, I think. I'm pretty good at not letting much get to me on the internet, because it's so impersonal. But I'm pretty sensitive face to face, in real life. Plus, I'm not a very good speaker. I've got a bit of a stutter, I'm pretty self-conscious about it, it's like my brain thinks faster than my mouth wants to talk, and crowds scare the hell outta me. I write much better than I speak. ^^;

10:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if any one here has studies history you find that fat people where beautiful ones, cuz only rich people could affourd to be fat and the lean skinny people where unitractive cuz they where poor workers, this has only recenly in like that last 200 years changed to go the other way, so when stayting historical things like "god blessed people by making them skinny" back then it was a curse...history...read up on it ;P

2:43 PM  

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